Powerful vulnerability
Or rather, the courage to not strive for perfection. Conversations with entrepreneurs often revolve around inspired leadership, creativity, and innovation. They explain that the main problems stem from a lack of engagement and feedback, the fear of not being able to keep up in this era of rapid change, and the need for clear goals. If we want to revitalize innovation and passion, we need to make work human again.
Not weakness, but the path to courage.
I often consulted with Judith Budde, whom I consider an authority in the Netherlands on voice dialogue, regarding team building. With management teams and also individually, we explored the various personalities (selves). A method for gaining insight into each other’s capabilities and team behavior in a bold and rapid way.
The voice dialogue method explores how leaders manifest themselves within their teams, with their employees, but also in their social circle, family, and partner. It involves self-analysis and group reflection. The result is an awareness of your frame of reference and underlying emotions. It answers the question of how your thinking patterns are fueled and how your perceptions and decisions are formed. Judith recently pointed me to Professor Brené Brown’s book on the power of vulnerability. Brown studied vulnerability for 12 years at the University of Houston. She argues that vulnerability is not a sign of weakness but of strength. It’s the realization that what we know is important, but who we are is more important.
Brown found inspiration
for her study in a speech by Theodore Roosevelt from April 23, 1910. In this speech, titled “The Man in the Arena,” Roosevelt argues that it is not the critic who counts, not the one who points out why the strong man stumbles or what the man of action could have done better. No, that honor belongs to the man who stands in the arena, who makes mistakes, who falls short, who nevertheless tries to achieve something, who gives his all to the cause. The man who, when things go wrong or he fails, has at least shown great courage. This, according to Brown, is vulnerability (entrepreneurship) in its purest form.
Shame
Vulnerability means exposing ourselves. Shame plays a role. A role as a tormentor. It’s the deep-seated fear in all of us of being wrong, of being criticized, and of feeling inferior. Shame prevents us from taking the risks necessary to, for example, move your company forward. If you want a creative and innovative culture in your company, where sufficient risks are accepted at both the market and the company level, then you encourage teams and managers to be vulnerable. That process starts by making yourself vulnerable. The idea that the boss is always in charge and must have an answer for everything is outdated and outdated. Otherwise, you end up feeling less knowledgeable and less valuable. And that’s the best recipe for risk-averse behavior. Shame leads to fear. Fear of risk aversion. Taking risks is the most enjoyable aspect for innovation.
Shame Resilience
Brown argues that we never become immune to shame. But the demon can be combated. She calls this building shame resilience. This is the ability to remain true to yourself when experiencing shame; to endure the experience without abandoning your values and standards, and to emerge from the shameful experience with more courage, compassion, and connection than you had before. Shifting from shame to empathy.
I don’t have any feelings.
In many ways, my reaction upon reading Brown’s book will likely be similar to that of many entrepreneurs. I hate uncertainty. I want to know everything. Entrepreneurship isn’t for the faint of heart. Vulnerability is complicated. But Brown captivated me with her insights, for example, on “false consolation.” This is when people feel disconnected, tense, lonely, and powerless. They seek solace in drink, food, work, or spending hours surfing the internet. False consolation doesn’t ask the question about what you do, but why you do it. In many change management assignments, I encounter discussions about the relationship between strategy and culture. Strategy is the plan of attack. Culture is easiest formulated as: “the way we do things here.” The plan is then the result of the gap analysis. What do we want to achieve, and how do we get there? A true leader and manager will realize that who we are is at least as important as what we want to achieve.
If you make a mistake, you can fix it.
This requires valuable feedback. Not standardized computer scores, no test data, no control figures that this society is overflowing with, but engaging in an uncomfortable and difficult conversation. Feedback where the manager tries to sit on the same side of the table and is willing to raise the issue, listen, and ask questions.
As an entrepreneur, you are inherently vulnerable. You must be able to handle uncertainty. People are constantly changing, budgets shift, management teams change, and the fact that you have competition means you must remain agile and innovative. You must create a vision and act on it. That’s impossible without vulnerability.
